My Alabama Journey

It all started when my step-dad retired from the Army. He was now in search of a pilot occupation to support my family. After a few weeks of searching, he found the perfect job for him as a pilot instructor. Unfortunately, his perfect job was all the way in Alabama. My Mother and I had never moved out of California even though we had always wanted to. After much thought, our family came to the conclusion that it was wise for us to pack up and move out of the state. I was fortunate enough to find out that we would be moving a few days after I graduated from high school. My step Dad moved out to Alabama in March while I continued school and my Mom packed up the house.

 The last few weeks of my high school went by so quickly. While I was wishing my old high school friends goodbye I was also saying goodbye to my family and everyone I knew. Two days after my graduation I was in my car driving out of California headed to Alabama. For five days I was stuck in my small car with my two dogs and a few of my suitcases. I went to Alabama expecting great change and only hoping for the best. I had left my family, job, and school behind so that I could move. I mean who wouldn't hope for the best? It was like I had left almost everything behind for a fresh start. Thousands of people would die for a fresh start. I was given the opportunity to leave everything behind for something new. I jumped at the chance. As a young adult woman, I wanted something new and inspiring. 

When I finally got to my new home I was taken back. My new home had a lake and a pond in the backyard. In the front yard, there was a smaller pond. It was like everything I wanted. I went inside and picked the best bedroom that had a window that overlooked the pond in the front yard. I then raced outside to go look at the lake which was covered by the overgrown brush. When I looked at the lake I was overcome by emotions. I sat there crying as I watched the water sway. I had left everything behind for this. A new start. Was it going to be worth it? 

Within two months I started school in August and was trying to find a job. Even though I was able to text my friends and see what everyone back home was up to I was lonely. At school, I was quiet and only focused on getting grades. I applied to fourteen jobs and none of them got back to me. I began to feel worthless. In September my thoughts overcame me.  I soon stopped talking to my friends and lost focus in school. I laid in bed all day and soon I wasn't encouraged to attend my classes. My whole world went down the drain. I fell into a depressive state. I would often cry myself to sleep. I was not in a positive position. 

In October of 2018 my worse nightmare happened. My best friend since fourth grade dropped me. She blocked me from everything because I was 'paranoid'. It was the last straw. I cried for two days and I stayed in my room. I didn't eat for five days and I pondered on the idea that I was not worth it. I was on my facebook page when I read a quote from one of my old family friends. It read "You have to break to really glow". That small quote got me going. 

Within two days I met a new friend. We instantly connected. For the first time in months, I didn't feel lonely. All of my depression melted away. Ever since moving there I had stopped thinking negatively about myself. She had made me become a better person. 

So in this new year of 2019, I vowed to myself that I would improve myself. I need to stop people from leaving a negative impact on me. I need to focus on my inner self and stop letting people bring me down. So this is where my journey begins. A new blog to start off a new year and improve myself.